Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Adeu
Ive decided to create a new blog due to al of the many changes in my life. I may or may not post it, but when I decide you will surely know.
Monday, June 21, 2004
What a long weekend. Itll take me a few days to recover, but guess what. Im his lady. Yeah. But...thats all. I need a chai so bad...
Friday, June 18, 2004
Happy Birthday Roberto!
Learn Chinese in 5 minutes
1) That's not right ................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?............. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP............................... Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man ................................ Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse ................................ Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? .................. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table .............. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift ...............Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here ........ Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet ............ Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone .................. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight ..................... Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile ............. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .............. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great ........ Fa Kin Su Pah
1) That's not right ................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?............. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP............................... Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man ................................ Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse ................................ Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? .................. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table .............. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift ...............Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here ........ Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet ............ Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone .................. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight ..................... Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile ............. Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .............. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great ........ Fa Kin Su Pah
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
The Price of Rice Soars, and Hunger Deepens - Published by the New York Times, 6/1/04
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti, May 31 - One lesson of life in Haiti is never to say things cannot get any worse. They can, and they have.
People say they have had less money, less food and less hope since the February revolt that toppled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.
For most Haitians, this has nothing to do with last week's deadly floods, which left 1,000 dead and 1,600 missing in Haiti, according to the official government estimate on Monday.
It has to do with the price of rice.
The cost of living has soared in the past four months. And as they say in Haiti, "Rice is life."
On the Rue de Miracles, one of the capital's biggest sidewalk markets, where thousands buy and sell the necessities of life, people talk of little else. Every conversation that starts with politics ends with the price of rice.
Many Haitians eat one meal a day. The main course is rice, and the price of a 110-pound sack doubled, to $45 from $22.50, between late January and early May. That price has dropped to about $37 in the past few weeks but is still too high, said Clermathe Baron, 29, who sells the big white sacks across the street from the Haitian customs office near the port. The price was driven up by global, national, political and economic forces.
"Life for the people of Haiti was better under Aristide because rice was less expensive," said Ms. Baron, not a big fan of the former president, as an American military helicopter hummed overhead.
"Even though it's more expensive now, I make the same as I did before," she said. "These high prices are not to my advantage. They're not to anyone's advantage, except maybe a few big importers and a few people in the Customs House. They always seem to have money."
People who buy rice by the pound say the price also doubled, and it has stayed that high.
"We have less and less to eat," said Nadia Casmir, 21, who sells crackers, cookies and powdered milk from a sidewalk stall, and lives with her mother, aunt, and the aunt's three children. "Things were better before. I'm not making a living. I've had to raise my prices, but people have less money, so they can't buy what we are selling."
Mr. Aristide, unsurprisingly, agrees that things have gotten worse since he was overthrown Feb. 29.
"The level of suffering has dramatically increased in Haiti," he said to reporters before leaving Jamaica and arriving Monday in South Africa, which offered him refuge. Mr. Aristide, who says he is still Haiti's elected leader, received a head of state's welcome in Johannesburg from President Thabo Mbeki.
But Haitian businessmen say Mr. Aristide's government kept the price of rice down through corruption.
One leading importer said an Aristide crony received a near exclusive concession on rice imports and evaded customs duties. That evasion allowed the rice concessionaire to cut about $3 a bag off the market price, pass some of the savings on to the market and pocket the rest.
"It was kind of a monopoly" under Mr. Aristide, said Danielle St.-Lot, the new minister of commerce.
Haiti used to grow its own rice. But its agriculture has collapsed in the past two decades, crushed by poverty, environmental destruction and foreign imports. While rice production crashed, demand soared: Haiti's population has grown to eight million from five million in 20 years. "The deterioration of the economy, years of bad governance without any policy for agriculture, and the day-to-day problems of life we now see reflected in the price of rice," Ms. St.-Lot said.
Eighty percent of the rice imported by Haiti comes from the United States, chiefly Arkansas, Louisiana and California - more than 300,000 tons in 2003. American rice is the most expensive in the world, Ms. St.-Lot said. "The problem is serious," she said. "The price on the international market is growing every day."
American and global stocks of rice are down, driving prices up, in some part because of American military and foreign policies.
"The American government has been buying a lot of rice for Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq," said Jean-Michel Cherubin, a leading Haitian importer of rice, sugar and beans.
International aid agencies, like the United Nations World Food Program and Catholic Relief Services, which receive United States government support, do what they can to ease Haiti's hunger. The United Nations sought $35 million in emergency funds for Haiti from foreign governments in March; it remains $26 million shy of the goal.
Things were bad before the flood, and now at least 75,000 survivors of the deluge face a food emergency that will last for many months.
Haiti - its ports in particular - is a dangerous place to do business. That remains true despite the soon-to-depart American-led military force sent to provide security and stability after Mr. Aristide fell, and despite the efforts of the interim government, which has good intentions but almost no money. Theft and crime raise the market price of rice by cutting the supply lines.
"People have been stealing rice and selling it in the market here in La Saline," said Capt. Sean Connally of the Marines, part of a force sent to secure the harbor of Port-au-Prince, which abuts La Saline, one of Haiti's roughest neighborhoods. Four cargo containers were looted Monday morning, Haitian officials said.
That has gone on since the day Mr. Aristide fell. "There was lots of looting of commercial warehouses where rice was stocked," said Jean-Claude Paulvin, president of the Haitian Economists association. "Boats couldn't come into the port to deliver the rice."
The damage done to businesses, warehouses and commercial property during the anti-Aristide rebellion ran to tens of millions of dollars.
Haiti's police force, whose cars and weapons were stolen during the chaos after Mr. Aristide's departure, now has roughly 2,500 officers. The government lacks money to rebuild the force or secure the ports.
Starting June 1, security will be handed over from the American-led force to a United Nations coalition whose soldiers have barely started arriving. A formal transfer of command is set for June 20; the last American soldier is to leave June 30.
It all weighs heavily on Ms. Baron, the rice seller, and her customers.
"Because of the political situation, I pay more for everything, for all the necessities of life, including rice," she said. "Life's not better for me. It's worse now. It's not good for us poor people. The little money we have is not enough to fight the forces of commerce."
Taste the Fair Trade Certified™ Freshness by TransFairUSA
Fresh Fruit
Fair Trade ensures that farmers receive a fair price for their top-quality fruit, and that farmworkers have good working conditions and receive fair wages. Without Fair Trade, fruit farmers often receive only a few cents a pound for their crop, far below the cost of production. For example, in Ecuador the cost of basic necessities for a family of four is $9.60 a day, but on non-Fair Trade farms, workers may earn as little as $3 a day. These disparities have lead to the wide-spread need for children to join their parents in the field to supplement the family income.
Fair Trade farmers receive a price for their crop that is designed to cover the costs of environmentally sustainable production and provide a decent standard of living for their famlies. This fair price allows small family farmers to stay on their land, put food on the table, and keep their kids in school.
By setting a floor price and production standards criteria, plantation owners can offer higher wages and improve working conditions. Fair Trade farms are thoroughly inspected at least once a year to ensure that these standards are met.
In addition to the fair price, small farmer cooperatives and plantation worker organizations receive a premium to use for social and environmental development including education, healthcare and crop diversification.
Protecting the environment
All Fair Trade farms adhere to strict environmental standards that limit the use of pesticides, reduce erosion and waste, and protect natural waterways, virgin forest and other ecosystems. The Fair Trade certification system bans the use of the most harmful pesticides, greatly improving the health of workers and the surrounding environment. The Fair Trade premium allows many of these farms to fund organic conversion.
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti, May 31 - One lesson of life in Haiti is never to say things cannot get any worse. They can, and they have.
People say they have had less money, less food and less hope since the February revolt that toppled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.
For most Haitians, this has nothing to do with last week's deadly floods, which left 1,000 dead and 1,600 missing in Haiti, according to the official government estimate on Monday.
It has to do with the price of rice.
The cost of living has soared in the past four months. And as they say in Haiti, "Rice is life."
On the Rue de Miracles, one of the capital's biggest sidewalk markets, where thousands buy and sell the necessities of life, people talk of little else. Every conversation that starts with politics ends with the price of rice.
Many Haitians eat one meal a day. The main course is rice, and the price of a 110-pound sack doubled, to $45 from $22.50, between late January and early May. That price has dropped to about $37 in the past few weeks but is still too high, said Clermathe Baron, 29, who sells the big white sacks across the street from the Haitian customs office near the port. The price was driven up by global, national, political and economic forces.
"Life for the people of Haiti was better under Aristide because rice was less expensive," said Ms. Baron, not a big fan of the former president, as an American military helicopter hummed overhead.
"Even though it's more expensive now, I make the same as I did before," she said. "These high prices are not to my advantage. They're not to anyone's advantage, except maybe a few big importers and a few people in the Customs House. They always seem to have money."
People who buy rice by the pound say the price also doubled, and it has stayed that high.
"We have less and less to eat," said Nadia Casmir, 21, who sells crackers, cookies and powdered milk from a sidewalk stall, and lives with her mother, aunt, and the aunt's three children. "Things were better before. I'm not making a living. I've had to raise my prices, but people have less money, so they can't buy what we are selling."
Mr. Aristide, unsurprisingly, agrees that things have gotten worse since he was overthrown Feb. 29.
"The level of suffering has dramatically increased in Haiti," he said to reporters before leaving Jamaica and arriving Monday in South Africa, which offered him refuge. Mr. Aristide, who says he is still Haiti's elected leader, received a head of state's welcome in Johannesburg from President Thabo Mbeki.
But Haitian businessmen say Mr. Aristide's government kept the price of rice down through corruption.
One leading importer said an Aristide crony received a near exclusive concession on rice imports and evaded customs duties. That evasion allowed the rice concessionaire to cut about $3 a bag off the market price, pass some of the savings on to the market and pocket the rest.
"It was kind of a monopoly" under Mr. Aristide, said Danielle St.-Lot, the new minister of commerce.
Haiti used to grow its own rice. But its agriculture has collapsed in the past two decades, crushed by poverty, environmental destruction and foreign imports. While rice production crashed, demand soared: Haiti's population has grown to eight million from five million in 20 years. "The deterioration of the economy, years of bad governance without any policy for agriculture, and the day-to-day problems of life we now see reflected in the price of rice," Ms. St.-Lot said.
Eighty percent of the rice imported by Haiti comes from the United States, chiefly Arkansas, Louisiana and California - more than 300,000 tons in 2003. American rice is the most expensive in the world, Ms. St.-Lot said. "The problem is serious," she said. "The price on the international market is growing every day."
American and global stocks of rice are down, driving prices up, in some part because of American military and foreign policies.
"The American government has been buying a lot of rice for Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq," said Jean-Michel Cherubin, a leading Haitian importer of rice, sugar and beans.
International aid agencies, like the United Nations World Food Program and Catholic Relief Services, which receive United States government support, do what they can to ease Haiti's hunger. The United Nations sought $35 million in emergency funds for Haiti from foreign governments in March; it remains $26 million shy of the goal.
Things were bad before the flood, and now at least 75,000 survivors of the deluge face a food emergency that will last for many months.
Haiti - its ports in particular - is a dangerous place to do business. That remains true despite the soon-to-depart American-led military force sent to provide security and stability after Mr. Aristide fell, and despite the efforts of the interim government, which has good intentions but almost no money. Theft and crime raise the market price of rice by cutting the supply lines.
"People have been stealing rice and selling it in the market here in La Saline," said Capt. Sean Connally of the Marines, part of a force sent to secure the harbor of Port-au-Prince, which abuts La Saline, one of Haiti's roughest neighborhoods. Four cargo containers were looted Monday morning, Haitian officials said.
That has gone on since the day Mr. Aristide fell. "There was lots of looting of commercial warehouses where rice was stocked," said Jean-Claude Paulvin, president of the Haitian Economists association. "Boats couldn't come into the port to deliver the rice."
The damage done to businesses, warehouses and commercial property during the anti-Aristide rebellion ran to tens of millions of dollars.
Haiti's police force, whose cars and weapons were stolen during the chaos after Mr. Aristide's departure, now has roughly 2,500 officers. The government lacks money to rebuild the force or secure the ports.
Starting June 1, security will be handed over from the American-led force to a United Nations coalition whose soldiers have barely started arriving. A formal transfer of command is set for June 20; the last American soldier is to leave June 30.
It all weighs heavily on Ms. Baron, the rice seller, and her customers.
"Because of the political situation, I pay more for everything, for all the necessities of life, including rice," she said. "Life's not better for me. It's worse now. It's not good for us poor people. The little money we have is not enough to fight the forces of commerce."
Taste the Fair Trade Certified™ Freshness by TransFairUSA
Fresh Fruit
Fair Trade ensures that farmers receive a fair price for their top-quality fruit, and that farmworkers have good working conditions and receive fair wages. Without Fair Trade, fruit farmers often receive only a few cents a pound for their crop, far below the cost of production. For example, in Ecuador the cost of basic necessities for a family of four is $9.60 a day, but on non-Fair Trade farms, workers may earn as little as $3 a day. These disparities have lead to the wide-spread need for children to join their parents in the field to supplement the family income.
Fair Trade farmers receive a price for their crop that is designed to cover the costs of environmentally sustainable production and provide a decent standard of living for their famlies. This fair price allows small family farmers to stay on their land, put food on the table, and keep their kids in school.
By setting a floor price and production standards criteria, plantation owners can offer higher wages and improve working conditions. Fair Trade farms are thoroughly inspected at least once a year to ensure that these standards are met.
In addition to the fair price, small farmer cooperatives and plantation worker organizations receive a premium to use for social and environmental development including education, healthcare and crop diversification.
Protecting the environment
All Fair Trade farms adhere to strict environmental standards that limit the use of pesticides, reduce erosion and waste, and protect natural waterways, virgin forest and other ecosystems. The Fair Trade certification system bans the use of the most harmful pesticides, greatly improving the health of workers and the surrounding environment. The Fair Trade premium allows many of these farms to fund organic conversion.
I dont know if it was a good idea to tell you...now I know youll not look at me the same, but it feels good to finally get it off my back. Cause thats where it felt like it was. Theres nothing we could have done except maybe not let it happen at all and thats my fault. Its my fault we feel this way. Thats why Ill never see you again, I cant see you look at me like that. Categorize me already.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Can you believe I havent posted in almost 2 weeks! Well its been busy. Well not that busy, but Im not killing myself keeping busy anyways. Last weekend was fun. Lots of running around and stuff, enjoying the holiday and all, spending time with friends...
This past weekend got to see the family and some friends down south. I didnt want to come back, really this time. I always find reasons why I want to come back home and this time there were only 2, maybe 3 of them. I finally got a tan, and I feel great. This trip was really relaxing and I didnt feel rushed or anything.
My little cousin surprised us all with how well she did at graduation, everyone was real proud. I got to see my little brother, some people I hadnt seen in a while, spend a whole day at the beach and lots more.
Every once in a while I am reminded that my emails and constant blabbering about my activities is doing some good. I sent out an email about the shelter I am working with and how they need more volunteers, and even though someone in particular couldnt volunteer, they called up to say they had a bunch of stuff to donate to the shelter. So tonight some little kids are going to be getting some brand new Abercrombie & Fitch gear to strut their stuff in. Gotta love it.
This past weekend got to see the family and some friends down south. I didnt want to come back, really this time. I always find reasons why I want to come back home and this time there were only 2, maybe 3 of them. I finally got a tan, and I feel great. This trip was really relaxing and I didnt feel rushed or anything.
My little cousin surprised us all with how well she did at graduation, everyone was real proud. I got to see my little brother, some people I hadnt seen in a while, spend a whole day at the beach and lots more.
Every once in a while I am reminded that my emails and constant blabbering about my activities is doing some good. I sent out an email about the shelter I am working with and how they need more volunteers, and even though someone in particular couldnt volunteer, they called up to say they had a bunch of stuff to donate to the shelter. So tonight some little kids are going to be getting some brand new Abercrombie & Fitch gear to strut their stuff in. Gotta love it.
Life's Great Truths:
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
7) With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.
7) With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus
Monday, May 31, 2004
Still recovering...still carless...still clueless...
yet happy.
yet happy.
Friday, May 28, 2004
I'll probably never understand men, why do I bother?
Many, many good things lately and yet those dark ones are lurking in the background. Too many possibilities, too many negative undertones...and I ignore them still. I am having too much fun to let them bother me, but will they just build up and attack me one day?
I wish I could herd everyone I know into counseling with me and make them all spill their guts. I think then all of our problems would be solved...
Long weekend ahead...and many exciting things going on. Carnaval, good food, dancing, drinking and more parties!
One more week till LA! I cant wait!
Many, many good things lately and yet those dark ones are lurking in the background. Too many possibilities, too many negative undertones...and I ignore them still. I am having too much fun to let them bother me, but will they just build up and attack me one day?
I wish I could herd everyone I know into counseling with me and make them all spill their guts. I think then all of our problems would be solved...
Long weekend ahead...and many exciting things going on. Carnaval, good food, dancing, drinking and more parties!
One more week till LA! I cant wait!
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin'
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away
And I die when you mention his name
And I lied, I should have kissed you
When we were running the reins
What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?
Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover man
Cheers darlin'
I just hang around and eat from a can
Cheers darlin'
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar
Cheers darlin'
I got a beauty queen
To sit not very far from here
I die when he comes around
To take you home
I'm too shy
I should have kissed you when we were alone
What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?
Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?
I got years to wait...
Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin'
I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin'
I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin'
You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away
And I die when you mention his name
And I lied, I should have kissed you
When we were running the reins
What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?
Cheers darlin'
Here's to you and your lover man
Cheers darlin'
I just hang around and eat from a can
Cheers darlin'
I got a ribbon of green on my guitar
Cheers darlin'
I got a beauty queen
To sit not very far from here
I die when he comes around
To take you home
I'm too shy
I should have kissed you when we were alone
What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?
Oh what am I? What am I darlin'?
I got years to wait...
Its Tubular Tuesday!!!
Whoot! Whoot!
Whoot! Whoot!
Friday, May 21, 2004
http://carcino.gen.nz/images/index.php/00b9a680/343745d2
I feel horrible. I finally told him I wont ever see him again. Bad friends just dont cut it anymore. I wont settle. There more to say, but itll probably be best not to explain.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
If only he knew...but then he couldnt handle it. I can handle it alone. I can.
I dont understand, but I'll try. I suppose theres nothing I can do...right?
Miss my scruffy. I am such a sissy la la.
I dont understand, but I'll try. I suppose theres nothing I can do...right?
Miss my scruffy. I am such a sissy la la.
Capitalism(the tendency of people to 'shout' when typing)
I feel like such a friggin sissy la la lately. I hate whiners and people who are always down, but thats exactly how Ive been since Saturday. My bodys all messed up and my hormones are whacked. I feel fine, even great one moment and then the next I am in pain and wanting to hurt the next person who looks at me funny. I am so not fun right now. But the worse part is over. Thanks goodness.
I had yummy food though last night and I saw a good movie. I had poki, deep fried soft shell crab, short ribs, rice and tea. YUMM. And I saw Man on Fire, with Denzel. It was awesome. And I had nachos and a slurpee. YUMM.
I cant wait to feel like myself again. Sissy la la sucks.
I had yummy food though last night and I saw a good movie. I had poki, deep fried soft shell crab, short ribs, rice and tea. YUMM. And I saw Man on Fire, with Denzel. It was awesome. And I had nachos and a slurpee. YUMM.
I cant wait to feel like myself again. Sissy la la sucks.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease
And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed,
While you put me to the test
I like the wine stains on your dress
And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self respect
While you're passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
I love your pants around your feet
And I love the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease
And I hate the places that we go
And I hate the people that you know
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I hate the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease
And I love the places that we go
And I love the people that you know
And I love the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I love the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
I like the freckles on your chest
And I like the way you like me best
And I like the way you're not impressed,
While you put me to the test
I like the wine stains on your dress
And I love the way you pass the check
And I love the good times that you wreck
And I love your lack of self respect
While you're passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
I love your pants around your feet
And I love the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please
While you're looking up at me
You're like my favourite damn disease
And I hate the places that we go
And I hate the people that you know
And I hate the way you can't say no
Too many long lines in a row
I hate the powder on your nose
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
And now I know who you are
It wasn't that hard
Just to figure you out
It finally stopped. I am a little relived, but still wondering whats wrong. At least I know its not that. I didnt really think that, but theres always a chance of that, no matter what. Scared the hell outta me, but its much better now. I still feel weak.
Wouldnt it be cool to buy a house? Yes...but it'll be a while still. Saw something I liked and Im working on it. The plans are quite extensive, but itll work out...
He still makes me uncomfortable when he calls, no matter how rare it is...
I saw the sick video, I dont know why. I believe in a healthy fear of things, but this just goes to show that some people dont. Some people have no respect for anything, and that evil is so, so out there and it makes me feel helpless...it made me sick. It still makes me sick to think about it and its not something Ill ever forget...
Saw some info on some training Id like to do. Only thing is its in the east bay and its on Saturdays at 9am. If I have to work Friday nights till 2, and sometimes even until 4 or so thatll suck. Thing is this is training I would like to do no matter what. This would also mean commiting to more shifts a week. I could do it, but I was also thinking of taking some more classes soon. I am trying to decide if I should do a tough home study course thats very fast paced and get it over with, or just continue to take classes here and there, which is more in depth and I can concentrate more on.
I figure I might as well get it over with. Then everyone will stop harrassing me about when Im going to be finished with school and I can start focusing my energy on some other things that are important to me like my training. Id really like to do this training, but I dunno yet...
Wouldnt it be cool to buy a house? Yes...but it'll be a while still. Saw something I liked and Im working on it. The plans are quite extensive, but itll work out...
He still makes me uncomfortable when he calls, no matter how rare it is...
I saw the sick video, I dont know why. I believe in a healthy fear of things, but this just goes to show that some people dont. Some people have no respect for anything, and that evil is so, so out there and it makes me feel helpless...it made me sick. It still makes me sick to think about it and its not something Ill ever forget...
Saw some info on some training Id like to do. Only thing is its in the east bay and its on Saturdays at 9am. If I have to work Friday nights till 2, and sometimes even until 4 or so thatll suck. Thing is this is training I would like to do no matter what. This would also mean commiting to more shifts a week. I could do it, but I was also thinking of taking some more classes soon. I am trying to decide if I should do a tough home study course thats very fast paced and get it over with, or just continue to take classes here and there, which is more in depth and I can concentrate more on.
I figure I might as well get it over with. Then everyone will stop harrassing me about when Im going to be finished with school and I can start focusing my energy on some other things that are important to me like my training. Id really like to do this training, but I dunno yet...
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Lookin' around the house
Hidden behind the window and the door
Searchin' for signs of life but there's nobody home
Well maybe I'm just too sure
Or maybe I'm just too frightened by the sound of it
Pieces of note fall down but the letter said
It was good livin' with you
It was good
It was good livin' with you
It was good
Good, good, good, good, good, good
Sittin' around the house
Watchin' the sun trace shadows on the floor
Searchin' for signs of life but there's nobody home
Well, maybe I'll call or I'll write you a letter
Now maybe we'll see on the fourth of July
But I'm not too sure, and I'm not too proud
Well I'm not too sure and I'm not too proud to say
It was good livin' with you
It was good
It was good livin' with you
It was good...awhh, huuuh...so good.
Awh, wahow
It was good livin' with you
It was good
It was good livin' with you
It was good
Yeah you were so good
yeah you were so good
Yeah....that's right!
Hidden behind the window and the door
Searchin' for signs of life but there's nobody home
Well maybe I'm just too sure
Or maybe I'm just too frightened by the sound of it
Pieces of note fall down but the letter said
It was good livin' with you
It was good
It was good livin' with you
It was good
Good, good, good, good, good, good
Sittin' around the house
Watchin' the sun trace shadows on the floor
Searchin' for signs of life but there's nobody home
Well, maybe I'll call or I'll write you a letter
Now maybe we'll see on the fourth of July
But I'm not too sure, and I'm not too proud
Well I'm not too sure and I'm not too proud to say
It was good livin' with you
It was good
It was good livin' with you
It was good...awhh, huuuh...so good.
Awh, wahow
It was good livin' with you
It was good
It was good livin' with you
It was good
Yeah you were so good
yeah you were so good
Yeah....that's right!
Hopppy Birfday Stacey Wacey!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 17, 2004
Its a friggin Monday alright. My back aches, my arms are killing me and just feel like crap. Ill tell you why later.
Friday went out and ran into a bunch of people. Someone asked me if I was someones girlfriend...guess what I said...haha youll never know.
Saturday went shopping. I hate it. I want these stupid shoes, but no one has them in my size! So after checking out the whole damn mall, and still finding nothing I finally got to check out this bookstore Ive been wanting to go to. Its so friggin awesome. I totally scored. Had to bartend that night. It was pretty slow, so the head bartender was showing me some cool bottle spinning tricks.
Sunday I had my hotline shift. Still no calls. I rearranged my whole room and the shed, fixed the vaccuum, did laundry and all kinds. My arms were already sore from the night before tossing bottles, but now my legs were killing me.
I feel like crap still. My cars finally getting fixed, but I didnt get to try out my new buffer.
Friday went out and ran into a bunch of people. Someone asked me if I was someones girlfriend...guess what I said...haha youll never know.
Saturday went shopping. I hate it. I want these stupid shoes, but no one has them in my size! So after checking out the whole damn mall, and still finding nothing I finally got to check out this bookstore Ive been wanting to go to. Its so friggin awesome. I totally scored. Had to bartend that night. It was pretty slow, so the head bartender was showing me some cool bottle spinning tricks.
Sunday I had my hotline shift. Still no calls. I rearranged my whole room and the shed, fixed the vaccuum, did laundry and all kinds. My arms were already sore from the night before tossing bottles, but now my legs were killing me.
I feel like crap still. My cars finally getting fixed, but I didnt get to try out my new buffer.
Friday, May 14, 2004
Life is so challenging...and thats why I love it for the most part.
For the record...I dont fight over money. It really bothers me to think someone might think that I would, especially in this case.
I still need to get my car fixed, I have been very bad about putting it off. Maybe Im just afraid Ill get screwed again...being a girl has some real disadvantages sometimes...
My therapist said he has a feeling that I am going to get a call this weekdend...I wonder if hes going to be right?...
Had my first monthly counseling meeting Wednesday. The best part about this group is we have so much in common. I love feeling a part of that. Although we are all different in race, background, careers, socially and all that we have this incredible bond because we all love what we do there. It so awesome to see everyone contribute in their own way and be able to take that.
I need a trip to LA soon. I miss home, I just need to touch it again.
Did I mention that scruffy is friggin SEXY?!!
For the record...I dont fight over money. It really bothers me to think someone might think that I would, especially in this case.
I still need to get my car fixed, I have been very bad about putting it off. Maybe Im just afraid Ill get screwed again...being a girl has some real disadvantages sometimes...
My therapist said he has a feeling that I am going to get a call this weekdend...I wonder if hes going to be right?...
Had my first monthly counseling meeting Wednesday. The best part about this group is we have so much in common. I love feeling a part of that. Although we are all different in race, background, careers, socially and all that we have this incredible bond because we all love what we do there. It so awesome to see everyone contribute in their own way and be able to take that.
I need a trip to LA soon. I miss home, I just need to touch it again.
Did I mention that scruffy is friggin SEXY?!!
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
"you're a special kind of fool"
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Nanner Nanner!
"Paradise is exactly like where you are right now...only much, much better"
Scruffy is SEXY! Sexy damn it!
I had it all planned...shoulda remembered my plans have a tendency to fall through...
I had planned on making yesterday a Chico day since I didnt spend much time with him over the weekend and I felt bad. Since I had the night off I had planned on giving him a little pamper bath and brushing and then taking him for a night out on the neighborhood.
Well I got home, made dinner and started to relax. I had to force myself to get up and go to the store because I needed to get Chico a new collar if we were going to go out. I went to Petco but they didnt have the one I wanted, so I went to this other one in this shopping center and got him that, some lotion and a brush. In the same shopping center was Michaels so I decided to hop on over and get some bead stuff...
On my way home my Grandma called me to come over so she could touch up my hair so I did. By the time I got home it was already 10 and cold outside so I Chico day had to be postponed. He'll have to wait till Thursday I guess...
I had planned on making yesterday a Chico day since I didnt spend much time with him over the weekend and I felt bad. Since I had the night off I had planned on giving him a little pamper bath and brushing and then taking him for a night out on the neighborhood.
Well I got home, made dinner and started to relax. I had to force myself to get up and go to the store because I needed to get Chico a new collar if we were going to go out. I went to Petco but they didnt have the one I wanted, so I went to this other one in this shopping center and got him that, some lotion and a brush. In the same shopping center was Michaels so I decided to hop on over and get some bead stuff...
On my way home my Grandma called me to come over so she could touch up my hair so I did. By the time I got home it was already 10 and cold outside so I Chico day had to be postponed. He'll have to wait till Thursday I guess...
Monday, May 10, 2004
I have some exciting news...but I cant share it just yet. Dont you hate it when I do that?..hehe
Had a nice eventful, up and down emotionally, but good weekend. Went to the Pow Wow, saw Kil Bill 2, ate lots, bought some new beads, visited with family, worked a little, and even did some laundry.
Kill Bill 2 rocked! Pow Wow rocked! Everything just rocked!
Had a nice eventful, up and down emotionally, but good weekend. Went to the Pow Wow, saw Kil Bill 2, ate lots, bought some new beads, visited with family, worked a little, and even did some laundry.
Kill Bill 2 rocked! Pow Wow rocked! Everything just rocked!
Friday, May 07, 2004
"Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic."
Tubular!
Thursday, May 06, 2004
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom"
YOU MIGHT BE FROM NEW MEXICO IF ...
You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.
You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.
You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.
You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".
Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".
You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
You price shop for tortillas.
You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.
You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.
Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.
You think Las Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.
You iron your jeans to "dress up".
Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.
You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.
You know whether you want "red or green."
You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.
You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.
You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.
You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.
You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.
You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags".
Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los".
You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
You price shop for tortillas.
You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.
You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.
Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.
You think Las Vegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.
You iron your jeans to "dress up".
Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.
You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.
You know whether you want "red or green."
You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.
You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of
the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be
the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
delivered to Mexico .
But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an
iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly
awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so
great, that they declared a National Day
of Mourning which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th . . . and is
known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of
the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be
the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever
delivered to Mexico .
But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an
iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.
The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly
awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so
great, that they declared a National Day
of Mourning which they still observe to this day.
The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th . . . and is
known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
"dont touch me i bite....no really i do"
"The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it."
Tuesday, May 04, 2004
Why does he have to know? It makes me nervous knowing that hes trying to find out even though I already told him I didnt want him to know yet. Nosy ass.
Im intimidated. Very intimidated, and now I know why. I dont think I can measure up even though his stadards are not physical he says. I still feel intimidated, its all about the job and money.
And why wont HE go away. I tried to tell him last night, but he knows me too well. I told him about HIM and HIM, but HE just doesnt understand. Just stop.
And YOU, where do I start. I ended it before it started but you still havent gotten it. I just cant, because I dont want to.
Im intimidated. Very intimidated, and now I know why. I dont think I can measure up even though his stadards are not physical he says. I still feel intimidated, its all about the job and money.
And why wont HE go away. I tried to tell him last night, but he knows me too well. I told him about HIM and HIM, but HE just doesnt understand. Just stop.
And YOU, where do I start. I ended it before it started but you still havent gotten it. I just cant, because I dont want to.
What the...?
http://www.mosnews.com/news/2004/04/28/rasputin.shtml
http://www.mosnews.com/news/2004/04/28/rasputin.shtml
Monday, May 03, 2004
I was thinking about someone that used to be a friend today. Actually two people that used to be friends of mine. See, we are no longer friends really, although it wasnt really said like that. I was pretty bummed about it for a while, but I kind of just forgot about it the last month or so. I found out I am not always such a good judge of peoples character. I suppose we all do at times. Or maybe people just change, who really knows? I dont.
I dont think he'll read this so thats why I can write about it now. See a few months ago he used to be a good friend of mine. I thought he was a decent guy. I may have even liked him more than that, who knows. Anyways, he proposed to me. I thought he was joking at first, but then he claimed to have made all these plans already, like he knwe I was going to say yes. He demanded that I fly across the country to be with him. When I finally took him serious and explained there was no way that would happen, he got mad.
I was really confused about this. First I could have sworn he was kidding, but he kept persisting and getting mad when Id joke about it. When I took him seriously, I tried explaining why he was wrong and why it was such a bad idea. In actuality I was a little offended because he assumed I would accept, when he knows how much I am against marriage. But besides that there were so many reasons why it was just ridiculous. He didnt see it that way.
The really sad part was that it started to get to me. We argue about this for over a week and he wouldnt budge and he seemed to just keep getting upset. I didnt know what to do. I finally went to another friend of mine who is also a guy and Ive always consoled with my guy problems. Weve known eachother forever. I can always expect a reasonable and understanding answer from him. He was like my rock over the years when it came to my manly woes. But when I told him, he didnt believe me. He said he thought I was making up stuff to make him jealous. Where that came from I dont know, but all i do know is that it really made me mad.
I hung up on him and havent called him since and he hasnt called me. I still dont know what happened but I lost a really good friend and its sucks. The other friend, well I finally told him to forget it and stopped taking his calls. He finally got he hint, but again I lost a good friend.
The funniest part though is that I dont miss either of them. Now that I think about it, they werent very good friends. Occassionally I might remember something, but other than that, I am fine. I have enough friends to keep me sane and I certainly know when not to let people hurt me, well most of the time. In this case, I think I did what I had to and well theres no looking back...
I dont think he'll read this so thats why I can write about it now. See a few months ago he used to be a good friend of mine. I thought he was a decent guy. I may have even liked him more than that, who knows. Anyways, he proposed to me. I thought he was joking at first, but then he claimed to have made all these plans already, like he knwe I was going to say yes. He demanded that I fly across the country to be with him. When I finally took him serious and explained there was no way that would happen, he got mad.
I was really confused about this. First I could have sworn he was kidding, but he kept persisting and getting mad when Id joke about it. When I took him seriously, I tried explaining why he was wrong and why it was such a bad idea. In actuality I was a little offended because he assumed I would accept, when he knows how much I am against marriage. But besides that there were so many reasons why it was just ridiculous. He didnt see it that way.
The really sad part was that it started to get to me. We argue about this for over a week and he wouldnt budge and he seemed to just keep getting upset. I didnt know what to do. I finally went to another friend of mine who is also a guy and Ive always consoled with my guy problems. Weve known eachother forever. I can always expect a reasonable and understanding answer from him. He was like my rock over the years when it came to my manly woes. But when I told him, he didnt believe me. He said he thought I was making up stuff to make him jealous. Where that came from I dont know, but all i do know is that it really made me mad.
I hung up on him and havent called him since and he hasnt called me. I still dont know what happened but I lost a really good friend and its sucks. The other friend, well I finally told him to forget it and stopped taking his calls. He finally got he hint, but again I lost a good friend.
The funniest part though is that I dont miss either of them. Now that I think about it, they werent very good friends. Occassionally I might remember something, but other than that, I am fine. I have enough friends to keep me sane and I certainly know when not to let people hurt me, well most of the time. In this case, I think I did what I had to and well theres no looking back...
Friday, April 30, 2004
JASON WILLIAMS NOT GUILTY OF MANSLAUGHTER !
Based on what i know from the case thats amazing!
Justice may be blind but it sure can smell money.
Based on what i know from the case thats amazing!
Justice may be blind but it sure can smell money.
Chico brought a dead squirrel into my room last night. Didnt mess with it or anything, just came and dropped it off on the floor and went about his business. Thanks for the lovely gift boy.
Im going to Tango tonight! Ole!
Im going to Tango tonight! Ole!
Three things for today:
WOW!
YUMM!
and
I need a massage...
WOW!
YUMM!
and
I need a massage...
Thursday, April 29, 2004
'dont knock masturbation, its only sex with someone you love.'
Nanner, Nanner!
Nanner, Nanner!
Ive never met someone who understood me so much. Now I know how it feels. Yes I know Im strange, but I accept that and so does this person. Is that cheesy or what? Well I dont care. Its probably a once in a lifetime thing...too bad theyll never know that.
Haha, you silly fool. Always calling when you want something. So, so, so naive. Thank goodness I was born with a brain...
Bleh...I have a headache. And my motivation took a train ride to Boston.
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
My Dream Home...
It will be a two-story white house with mauve trim that has more attic & basement space than anything else. There will be no rose gardens, but instead ranuculus's in yellows, pinks, whites and ever color in between. It will have moss instead of grass. It will have a wild yard, with untamed wild plants, a cobblestone driveway and a vegetable garden. Out back will be avacado, plum, peach, lemon, pomegranate and guava trees with a large BBQ pit next to Chicos dog house. There will be a hill out back where a stream runs quietly. The beach only right over the hill will be easy access.
There wont be a fireplace in this home, but hardwood floors through out except the kitchen and bathroom which will have mexican tile. Only two bedrooms, each with its own bath. The two bedrooms filled with bunk beds, dressers and kids stuff. Bay windows in every room. A small living room area with built in bookshelves and alcoves. The kitchen will have brick walls, lined with wooden cookware. There will be no stove but a built in kiva style oven and one large wooden table with dried fruits and vegetables hanging from the low ceiling.
In the attic you'll find the library and toy area. All the walls lined with bookcases and tables and big pillow chairs in the middle with light coming in from little windows. One end will have a chest full of toys and stuffed animals. On another side, some easels and crafts. The walls you can see will be full of mural style pictures and hand made drawings and crafts.
The basement will be the real Yvonne room. My guitars and amps and music stuff in one area, my beading and craft supplies set up in another. All my little fundraising and activities set up neatly. A little space with my computer and paperwork in another corner. And in the last corner, a little cornered off area for me. My bed and my personal items all tucked away.
Children will run the household, make the decisions and do as they please. Yes...I said that. I never said I didnt like kids. I never meant I wasnt going to take in kids when I said I didnt want to have kids. Because I do and I will...one day.
I can see the waves crashing at night. I can hear children giggle at bedtime. I taste fresh fruits and vegetables while sitting on the back porch swing.
I am home.
There wont be a fireplace in this home, but hardwood floors through out except the kitchen and bathroom which will have mexican tile. Only two bedrooms, each with its own bath. The two bedrooms filled with bunk beds, dressers and kids stuff. Bay windows in every room. A small living room area with built in bookshelves and alcoves. The kitchen will have brick walls, lined with wooden cookware. There will be no stove but a built in kiva style oven and one large wooden table with dried fruits and vegetables hanging from the low ceiling.
In the attic you'll find the library and toy area. All the walls lined with bookcases and tables and big pillow chairs in the middle with light coming in from little windows. One end will have a chest full of toys and stuffed animals. On another side, some easels and crafts. The walls you can see will be full of mural style pictures and hand made drawings and crafts.
The basement will be the real Yvonne room. My guitars and amps and music stuff in one area, my beading and craft supplies set up in another. All my little fundraising and activities set up neatly. A little space with my computer and paperwork in another corner. And in the last corner, a little cornered off area for me. My bed and my personal items all tucked away.
Children will run the household, make the decisions and do as they please. Yes...I said that. I never said I didnt like kids. I never meant I wasnt going to take in kids when I said I didnt want to have kids. Because I do and I will...one day.
I can see the waves crashing at night. I can hear children giggle at bedtime. I taste fresh fruits and vegetables while sitting on the back porch swing.
I am home.
"We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all have to learn to live in the same box. "
"I play the music while the monkey dances. Sometimes the monkey gets tired, and I dance."
"I play the music while the monkey dances. Sometimes the monkey gets tired, and I dance."
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
um....um....
Some people live for the fortune
some people live for just for the fame
some people live for the power(yeah)
some people live just to play the game
some people think that the physical things define
what's within and i bet that before that life's adore are
full of the superficial
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
yeah
some people search for a fountain
promises are forever yours
some people need the dozen roses
that's the only way you prove
you love them
hand me the world
on a silver platter
then what a what good it would be
no one to share
no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
some people want diamons rings
some just want everything
yeah
Some people live for the fortune
some people live for just for the fame
some people live for the power(yeah)
some people live just to play the game
some people think that the physical things define
what's within and i bet that before that life's adore are
full of the superficial
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
yeah
some people search for a fountain
promises are forever yours
some people need the dozen roses
that's the only way you prove
you love them
hand me the world
on a silver platter
then what a what good it would be
no one to share
no one who truly cares for me
Some people want it all
but i don't want nothing all
some people want diamons rings
some just want everything
yeah
Baby's gonna be alright
And it don't mean I don't love you
When i put a gun to your face
It just means I wanna get rough with you
Baby's gonna be alright
And it don't mean I don't love you
When i put a gun to your face
It just means I wanna get rough with you
Baby's gonna be alright
My Life Should Be...
My life should be sweet beach grass (hills of it) and flowers (the exotic kinds, like hibiscus and lotus flowers, and simple kinds like marigolds and buttercups), and a stream where I frolic with my friends and family (we'll have just had a picnic and need to cool off on the hot summer day, so we jump about in the stream and splash each other, and some people climb the big oak trees overlooking the stream and talk quietly), the shade from various fruit trees that I lay under and relax as the breeze cools my warm skin, Chico frollicking with children and playing catch, hearing the shoreline crashing not too far off, and . . .
My life should be a kitchen where I'm making taquitos with children dipping their fingers in the guacamole, library full of the books I can read over and over, a bedroom that is furnished in antique wood and bamboo as I sit on my bed with a notebook and doodle, and a living room where the family gathers to watch movies and eat popcorn.
My life should be a vacation to a new place where the culture is very different from my own (and I look around at the people and customs and feel that feeling of how big the world is and how different and alike things can be), and the return trip home from a long journey (when the kids are asleep in the back seat and I'm looking out the window and having a nice conversation with that special someone, and a hotel room where I stay when I visit my family or friends after not seeing them for a long time (and I order room service and eat little sandwiches, and my feet get cold so I snuggle under the blankets).
My life should be a country path lined with trees that are blossoming, pink and white, and the road is dusty, and I'm looking around and thinking that this is home.
Also, my life should be a series of smiles and sunshine and the neighbors coming to talk with me on the porch, and a white, sleeveless dress that I wear, and the good times that follow the bad.
I wonder if I lived this life in a past life. It seems very clear to me and somewhat impossible, like a dream.
Where is that house amidst the hills of sweet beach grass and the blossoming trees, and the stream behind it, and the porch, and the kitchen where I'm making taquitos?
It's around here somewhere, like a lost comb that I'll find if I look hard enough. I hope.
My life should be a kitchen where I'm making taquitos with children dipping their fingers in the guacamole, library full of the books I can read over and over, a bedroom that is furnished in antique wood and bamboo as I sit on my bed with a notebook and doodle, and a living room where the family gathers to watch movies and eat popcorn.
My life should be a vacation to a new place where the culture is very different from my own (and I look around at the people and customs and feel that feeling of how big the world is and how different and alike things can be), and the return trip home from a long journey (when the kids are asleep in the back seat and I'm looking out the window and having a nice conversation with that special someone, and a hotel room where I stay when I visit my family or friends after not seeing them for a long time (and I order room service and eat little sandwiches, and my feet get cold so I snuggle under the blankets).
My life should be a country path lined with trees that are blossoming, pink and white, and the road is dusty, and I'm looking around and thinking that this is home.
Also, my life should be a series of smiles and sunshine and the neighbors coming to talk with me on the porch, and a white, sleeveless dress that I wear, and the good times that follow the bad.
I wonder if I lived this life in a past life. It seems very clear to me and somewhat impossible, like a dream.
Where is that house amidst the hills of sweet beach grass and the blossoming trees, and the stream behind it, and the porch, and the kitchen where I'm making taquitos?
It's around here somewhere, like a lost comb that I'll find if I look hard enough. I hope.
Monday, April 26, 2004
I dont know where to start. I am a mess. Yes really I am, but you know what. Thats not what I am worried about. I know I'll get over it, or move on anyways. What worries me is that everyone else wont. They never have and thats what gets me in a rut. I cant believe how negative and unsupportive some people are to people who need encouragement the most. And from those who are suppose to be loved ones, role models even. I know they dont understand, and thats why. But still, how can some people be so closed minded?
I suppose thats the sad part about society. You cant expect anyone to understand, or even try to. Whats even sadder is that sometimes, in my work with kids and such, I even come to expect the worse. But I never treat people that way, I just expect it, and usually thats what happens. Ok, not that makes sense to anyone but me, but oh well.
So I took the weekend to spend some time away from everything and just hang out. And what did I get? I got a shit load of crap from everyone for doing that. The ironic part is that the people who "teased" me about it, were the last people who should have. Kinda made me mad.
For a really long time I had a lot of pressure form everyone to do this and do that, what was supposedly best for me. Actually I still do, but not as much. I suppose everyone has expectations from their family and friends too. Anyways, I realized a lot about those things and how they werent so easy to achieve. One thing I realized was that those expectations, werent necessarily MY goals. Another thing I noticed was that even if that was a goal of mine, didnt necessarily mean that I wanted to go about it the way everone thought I should.
So my life has had a lot of changes the last 5 years or so, and it continues to do so. I didnt even start to really consciously think about those things until the last few months. I never stopped all those years to think long term, short and now about what I really wanted. I realize by not doing just that, that I am very unhappy with a lot choices Ive made and some of the things I do, but I am going to change that.
Ive never had the chance to explore all of these thoughts until now for many reasons, but now may not even be the best time, but I am going to. Ive missed out on enough as it is and unless I jump into this now, itll ony stall even more.
The only thing about doing just that, is that there are going to be so many grunts and comments from all those people with their expectations of me. I cant say that I dont care, because I do. Their approval and support is so important to me. But being true to myself is more important. I can only hope that they will understand.
So Ive been single now for about 5 months now. Seems so much longer. I realize that the last two relastionships I had were really for the wrong reasons. I admit I did change throughout those too which may not have been fair. But I think Ive only tried to become a better person, which is fair to me. I cant say that I didnt make any mistakes, because I did. But I also did my best.
At 24 I have been not been in a relationship for less than a year out of the 6 years since I turned 18. Ive never had time just to myself and nothing more. Honestly, when I think of the things Ive not experienced growing up, its a lot. But the one thing that I just realized now that I am having time for just me is that I never got to experience finding out who I am.
As soon as I was able to, I had to live up to these expecations and I was too busy doing that to stop and really think about it. Ive found out alot of about myself the last 5 months, but I need more time to figure it all out before I am ready to share my time for anything else. I am not saying everyone should stay away until I figure things out, Im just saying I dont know what I want right now. So if I act strange, just pretend to understand.
I suppose thats the sad part about society. You cant expect anyone to understand, or even try to. Whats even sadder is that sometimes, in my work with kids and such, I even come to expect the worse. But I never treat people that way, I just expect it, and usually thats what happens. Ok, not that makes sense to anyone but me, but oh well.
So I took the weekend to spend some time away from everything and just hang out. And what did I get? I got a shit load of crap from everyone for doing that. The ironic part is that the people who "teased" me about it, were the last people who should have. Kinda made me mad.
For a really long time I had a lot of pressure form everyone to do this and do that, what was supposedly best for me. Actually I still do, but not as much. I suppose everyone has expectations from their family and friends too. Anyways, I realized a lot about those things and how they werent so easy to achieve. One thing I realized was that those expectations, werent necessarily MY goals. Another thing I noticed was that even if that was a goal of mine, didnt necessarily mean that I wanted to go about it the way everone thought I should.
So my life has had a lot of changes the last 5 years or so, and it continues to do so. I didnt even start to really consciously think about those things until the last few months. I never stopped all those years to think long term, short and now about what I really wanted. I realize by not doing just that, that I am very unhappy with a lot choices Ive made and some of the things I do, but I am going to change that.
Ive never had the chance to explore all of these thoughts until now for many reasons, but now may not even be the best time, but I am going to. Ive missed out on enough as it is and unless I jump into this now, itll ony stall even more.
The only thing about doing just that, is that there are going to be so many grunts and comments from all those people with their expectations of me. I cant say that I dont care, because I do. Their approval and support is so important to me. But being true to myself is more important. I can only hope that they will understand.
So Ive been single now for about 5 months now. Seems so much longer. I realize that the last two relastionships I had were really for the wrong reasons. I admit I did change throughout those too which may not have been fair. But I think Ive only tried to become a better person, which is fair to me. I cant say that I didnt make any mistakes, because I did. But I also did my best.
At 24 I have been not been in a relationship for less than a year out of the 6 years since I turned 18. Ive never had time just to myself and nothing more. Honestly, when I think of the things Ive not experienced growing up, its a lot. But the one thing that I just realized now that I am having time for just me is that I never got to experience finding out who I am.
As soon as I was able to, I had to live up to these expecations and I was too busy doing that to stop and really think about it. Ive found out alot of about myself the last 5 months, but I need more time to figure it all out before I am ready to share my time for anything else. I am not saying everyone should stay away until I figure things out, Im just saying I dont know what I want right now. So if I act strange, just pretend to understand.
Friday, April 23, 2004
Ok, so a guy walks into a bar and sits next to priest ok? The guy is drunk as shit with lipstick all over his face, his suit stained with beer, and a bottle of liquor in his pocket. The guy picks up the newspaper and starts reading it. A few minutes later, the man turns to the priest and asks "Hey Father, what causes arthritis?". So the priest turns to the man and replies "Loose living, sleeping with wicked women, and getting drunk too much". So the man, after hearing this, says" Well I'll be" and goes back to his newspaper. A few minutes later the priest, feeling bad about what he said to the man, turns to the man and says" I'm sorry sir, I came on too harsh. Please forgive me. So, how long have you had arthritis sir?". So the man turns to the priest and replies "Me? Oh I don't have arthritis. I was talking about the talking about the Pope".
British vets find 28 golf balls in dog's stomach
MANCHESTER (AFP) - It was the mysterious rattling sound from the 18-month-old German Shepherd's stomach which first alerted the British vet to what might be wrong.
A subsequent operation removed no fewer than 28 golf balls from the dog's belly and -- unsurprisingly -- the mystery ailment which made her stop eating has been cured, her owner said on Friday.
Mike Wardrop said he was "gobsmacked" to discover what his pet, called Libby, had been up to during their daily walk around Didsbury Golf Club in Manchester, northwest England, where he lives and works as a bar manager.
The German Shepherd had developed a habit of hunting down golf balls and bringing them back to her owner, Wardrop said.
"It got to the stage where she would pick up four or five balls every day. She loved fitting them in her mouth.
"She would bring them to me and I'd have a laugh. I had no idea she was wolfing them down as well."
Libby stopped eating properly and when she began coughing blood was rushed to a nearby vets' surgery, where the problem was swiftly diagnosed.
"The vets didn't even have to do an x-ray because they could hear the balls and feel them rattling around," Wardrop said.
"They were having bets about how many would be in there. I think the highest bet was 11, so they were shocked when 28 came out."
Wardrop said he was keeping the balls -- which weighed a total of six pounds (2.7 kilogrammes) -- as souvenirs.
"They are all brown from the stomach acid but we are keeping them to show people," he said.
MANCHESTER (AFP) - It was the mysterious rattling sound from the 18-month-old German Shepherd's stomach which first alerted the British vet to what might be wrong.
A subsequent operation removed no fewer than 28 golf balls from the dog's belly and -- unsurprisingly -- the mystery ailment which made her stop eating has been cured, her owner said on Friday.
Mike Wardrop said he was "gobsmacked" to discover what his pet, called Libby, had been up to during their daily walk around Didsbury Golf Club in Manchester, northwest England, where he lives and works as a bar manager.
The German Shepherd had developed a habit of hunting down golf balls and bringing them back to her owner, Wardrop said.
"It got to the stage where she would pick up four or five balls every day. She loved fitting them in her mouth.
"She would bring them to me and I'd have a laugh. I had no idea she was wolfing them down as well."
Libby stopped eating properly and when she began coughing blood was rushed to a nearby vets' surgery, where the problem was swiftly diagnosed.
"The vets didn't even have to do an x-ray because they could hear the balls and feel them rattling around," Wardrop said.
"They were having bets about how many would be in there. I think the highest bet was 11, so they were shocked when 28 came out."
Wardrop said he was keeping the balls -- which weighed a total of six pounds (2.7 kilogrammes) -- as souvenirs.
"They are all brown from the stomach acid but we are keeping them to show people," he said.
I start my first hotline shift Sunday. 7pm-7am... I hope its quiet.
I made beans last night, yumm. I might try to make some frijoladas tonight!
I straightened my hair today. Since when do I have time to do shit like that? Hmm. I miss my straight hair, just a little though.
I think Chico needs a friend, or playmate. I want to get a pet pig. The only difference would be that Chico has more hair!
I made beans last night, yumm. I might try to make some frijoladas tonight!
I straightened my hair today. Since when do I have time to do shit like that? Hmm. I miss my straight hair, just a little though.
I think Chico needs a friend, or playmate. I want to get a pet pig. The only difference would be that Chico has more hair!
Thursday, April 22, 2004
Rampant Rhino Gets Amorous with Car
LONDON (Reuters) - A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.
Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.
The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.
"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper on Thursday. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."
A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its Web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.
"He's got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again," she added.
LONDON (Reuters) - A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.
Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.
The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.
"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper on Thursday. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."
A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its Web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.
"He's got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again," she added.
I was eating wonderful food at 3 in the morning, but I think I was still too drunk to enjoy it. I want some Frijolitos so bad right now.
I really love being able to say to people that I am a trauma counselor, that I work with kids. Its something Im quite proud of myself about. Probably the only thing I dont feel selfish saying about myself proudly. I mean I am proud to say I work in Finance, and I am quite good at it. But that was something I was just born with, like a gift. Counseling on the other hand, I worked really hard on. It works me. Its just so different, and not like a job.
When I tell people that I am a counselor, I always get strange reactions. I can tell by their face expressions what they must be thinking. Its usually either a look like why? Or a look like wow, maybe I can talk to her about...yeah and some people just go cool, so this happened to me, what should I do now? And believe me I wish it were that simple, but its quite uncomfortable sometimes. It brings attention, something I dont always like. People think that because I am a counselor that I can solve their problems and right then and there. Shit I cant even solve my own at times. But its all good, I love it, everything about it.
Ever been on the spot? Yeah I feel like that like the majority of my day. Not because I am but because thats how I see things a lot. I realize I see a lot of things my own way. I read into things that aent there. Like people bossing me, I always think people are being bossy to me, and I hate it. But they really arent when I think about it and then I feel stupid. Im working on it.
My stomach has been a mess. I am always anxious to the point I almost feel sick. I dont know why its been so bad lately, but my therapist suggested an anxiety workshop. Im having a chai tea this morning though, and youd think that would help but it doesnt. It only irritates it I think.
I need some meat, some beef would be nice. I dont know why but Ive been craving beef a lot, Im sure a strange one.
I really love being able to say to people that I am a trauma counselor, that I work with kids. Its something Im quite proud of myself about. Probably the only thing I dont feel selfish saying about myself proudly. I mean I am proud to say I work in Finance, and I am quite good at it. But that was something I was just born with, like a gift. Counseling on the other hand, I worked really hard on. It works me. Its just so different, and not like a job.
When I tell people that I am a counselor, I always get strange reactions. I can tell by their face expressions what they must be thinking. Its usually either a look like why? Or a look like wow, maybe I can talk to her about...yeah and some people just go cool, so this happened to me, what should I do now? And believe me I wish it were that simple, but its quite uncomfortable sometimes. It brings attention, something I dont always like. People think that because I am a counselor that I can solve their problems and right then and there. Shit I cant even solve my own at times. But its all good, I love it, everything about it.
Ever been on the spot? Yeah I feel like that like the majority of my day. Not because I am but because thats how I see things a lot. I realize I see a lot of things my own way. I read into things that aent there. Like people bossing me, I always think people are being bossy to me, and I hate it. But they really arent when I think about it and then I feel stupid. Im working on it.
My stomach has been a mess. I am always anxious to the point I almost feel sick. I dont know why its been so bad lately, but my therapist suggested an anxiety workshop. Im having a chai tea this morning though, and youd think that would help but it doesnt. It only irritates it I think.
I need some meat, some beef would be nice. I dont know why but Ive been craving beef a lot, Im sure a strange one.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Pssst....I forgot to tell you that I got to rub his belly!
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
I forgot to tell you all about my wonderful weekend. Well last week was really hard. I got some really bad news, and was pretty much a wreck for a few days, but now I am trying to deal with it as best as I can. I was lucky enough to have someone to talk to about it all, and it really helped. Thanks monkey...
It was Jens b-day so I tried not to let it get to me, and have a good time. We started out at the usual spot and our friend kept getting us drinks. I ran into a friend of mine who was there with another friend and we all had a good time. This one guy kept asking me to dance and he was obviously drunk so I said no. He must have asked me like 3 time and when he did, hes spit onmy face, it was gross. Russ B saw it and was laughing cause I kept wiping my face when hes talk to me. I finally told him to stop spitting on me. He said sorry.
My other friend, her friend and I wanted to go some other place, but Jen was already fading so she decided to stay. We ended up going to another club and having a blast.
The next day Jen and I were wiped out. We pulled out the lawn chairs in the backyard and slept most of the day. I had to work that night, but good thing it was pretty slow.
I want, I want to have chicken for dinner tonight! bawk, bawk.
It was Jens b-day so I tried not to let it get to me, and have a good time. We started out at the usual spot and our friend kept getting us drinks. I ran into a friend of mine who was there with another friend and we all had a good time. This one guy kept asking me to dance and he was obviously drunk so I said no. He must have asked me like 3 time and when he did, hes spit onmy face, it was gross. Russ B saw it and was laughing cause I kept wiping my face when hes talk to me. I finally told him to stop spitting on me. He said sorry.
My other friend, her friend and I wanted to go some other place, but Jen was already fading so she decided to stay. We ended up going to another club and having a blast.
The next day Jen and I were wiped out. We pulled out the lawn chairs in the backyard and slept most of the day. I had to work that night, but good thing it was pretty slow.
I want, I want to have chicken for dinner tonight! bawk, bawk.
I am so friggin lucky sometimes!
I am feeling pink today...and girlie, watch out!
I am feeling pink today...and girlie, watch out!
Monday, April 19, 2004
I might be getting a belly again. The way Ive been eating, I wouldnt be surprised. I had steak twice yesterday! The only thing about eating so much is that it makes me sleepy. And I slept most of yesterday already, I shouldnt be tired at all.
But I love bellys, maybe Ill get to rub someones belly soon. Yee-ha.
I bleached my bangs. Everyone told me I would look retarded, but I dont care. I wanted to do it and I did. I think it looks cool. Funky, different and drastic, but cool. Its got like streaks of platinum, orange and yellow, its awesome.
I miss my brothers. Its not fair sometimes, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I dont remember ever having carefree days, or remember being a kid with no responsibility, but I do wish I could have one of those days just once. I wonder what it would be like. I wonder if I would like it. I dont think I would, but just once I would like to see what its like.
I dont have intimacy issues, I dont. Its just you, really.
But I love bellys, maybe Ill get to rub someones belly soon. Yee-ha.
I bleached my bangs. Everyone told me I would look retarded, but I dont care. I wanted to do it and I did. I think it looks cool. Funky, different and drastic, but cool. Its got like streaks of platinum, orange and yellow, its awesome.
I miss my brothers. Its not fair sometimes, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I dont remember ever having carefree days, or remember being a kid with no responsibility, but I do wish I could have one of those days just once. I wonder what it would be like. I wonder if I would like it. I dont think I would, but just once I would like to see what its like.
I dont have intimacy issues, I dont. Its just you, really.
Friday, April 16, 2004
You know, its funny. You just really never know where your lifes gonna take a strange turn. Its even funnier when you already dont know a thing about whats going to happen, and then something really unexpected happens. Yeah, its strange, but quite fascinating the way things work.
I am usually pretty bad when it comes to things like that. I just choose to not expect a thing, or to expect the worse. Thats just the way I work.
Lets just say I got quite an unexpected surprise yesterday. And yes, it was very nice!
I am usually pretty bad when it comes to things like that. I just choose to not expect a thing, or to expect the worse. Thats just the way I work.
Lets just say I got quite an unexpected surprise yesterday. And yes, it was very nice!
Why thank you fine fellow, thats just what I needed!
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
Theres nothing I can do besides cry I suppose. But it hurts when you do so much to help others but you cant do anything for those who are dearest to you.
Friday, April 09, 2004
Reply on the shaved or trimmed or not forum:
"I don't like having to cut down old growth in order to part the beef curtains"
Had me rolling for a while there.
Thursday, April 08, 2004
I found these really cool lowrider oldie CD's from Denise so I brought them to work to listen to and my sound wont work! I tried everything and I still cant get them to play. Sucks man.
Paul Frank rocks~! I was looking on e-bay for some stuff and there was like 50 pages of monkey stuff! Two of my friends b-days are coming up, I have to find some cool stuff...
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm
Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope, no harm
Just another false alarm
So, tell me how long
Before the last one ?
And tell me how long
Before the right one ?
The story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on
The story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on
Oh, GOES ON
And on
Oh, goes on
And on
There was a guy
An under water guy who controlled the sea
Got killed by ten million pounds of sludge
From new york and new jersey
This monkey's gone to heaven
The creature in the sky
Got sucked in ahole
Now there's a hole in the sky
And the ground's not cold
And if the ground's not cold
Everything is gonna burn
We'll all take turns
I'll get mine, too
This monkey's gone to haven
Rock me joe!
If man is 5
Then the devil is 6
Then god is 7
This monkey's gone to heaven
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Some things that are taken out of context:
:: THE OFFICE
I need to whip it out by 5.
Mind if I use your laptop?
Just stick it in my box.
If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
HMMMMM, I think it's out of fluid!
My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
It's an entry level position.
When do you think you'll be getting off today? (And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but at the office, isn't:)
It's not fair, I do all the work while he just sits there!!!
..............
:: IN A LAW FIRM
Have you looked through her briefs?
He is one hard judge.
Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
Her attorney withdrew at the last minute.
Is it a penal offense?
Better leave the handcuffs on.
For $200 an hour, she better be good!
Can you get him to drop his suit?
The judge gave her the stiffest one he could. (And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in law, isn't:)
Think you can get me off?
..............
:: GOLF
Damn, my shaft is bent.
After 18 holes, I can barely walk.
You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
Look at the size of his putter.
Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
Mind if I join your threesome?
Stand with your back turned and drop it.
My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
Nice stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired. (And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't:)
Hold up! I need to wash my balls first.
Monday, April 05, 2004
Im a big baby today. I need a nap, I need my head patted, I need a chai tea, I need to be fed, I need to be cuddled. Yeah I am a big baby today. Im going home to snuggle with Chico.
Friday, April 02, 2004
All I wanted was closure. I never meant to hurt anyones feelings, but I wasnt about to let things slip by. The most unspoken words are the most hurtful, maybe thats why they were never said, but that doesnt mean that they shouldnt be said.
I said them, now what? There still isnt closure, but thats all I want. I want to move on, I want to be over it, but I dont know how. Well no, I do know how, but you wont let me and I will not give in, its not even an option anymore. I will keep doing my best to end this. Move on Monkey Butt.
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Worst pick up lines:
"are you a lumberjack because you've been giving me wood all day"
"guy>-Hey You wanna play hurricane?
chick-What?
guy-It's easy I lay on the ground and you blow the hell outta me."
"Let's play Lion you lay down and I'll throw you my meat. "
Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Gertrude?
"Oh my-- that shirt's becoming on you. If I were that shirt, I'd be coming on you too!!"
You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
"You must be Jamaican because you're Jamaican me crazy."
"That outfit looks very good on you, but itd look even better on my floor."
"you have 206 bones in your body, want another?"
"If we lived in a nose and you were a booger...I'd pick you."
"if your left leg was thanksgiving and your right leg christmas, i should think so! for you have been boogie dancing in my dreams for a fortnight!"
"is it hot in here, or did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"my love for you is like diarrhea. it's hard to turn me down and i can turn you on."
"if i could rearrange the alphabet, shall i carry them for you?"
"Those two look heavy... Shall i carry them for you?"
"Do you have many overdue library books? 'Cause you've got the word "fine" written all over. "
-Im like a box of chocolates...u never know what ur gonna get ; )
-Your lips are like wine & i wanna get drunk tonight
-baby i'm as clean as a whistle...and u know what they do to whistles! (guys)
-will u buy me a drink? i seem to have dropped mine when i saw you
-baby call the cops cuz its got to be illegal to look that good!
-lets play house.. u be the screen door & i'll slam u all night long
-lets play army..i lay down & u blow the hell outta me (guys)
-do you have a map? i seem to have got lost in your eyes
-did it hurt when u fell straight outta heaven?
-i have an idea...why dont u sit on my lap & we'll talk about the first thing that pop up...(guys)
--If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me...Please??!!
-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
-Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.
-Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes!
-i lost my phone number, can i have yours?
-Do you have any french in you? Would you like some?
-is it hot in here? or is it just u..
-could this be love at first site? or do u want me to walk by again?
-If your left leg was Thanksgiving and your right leg Christmas, can I visit you between the Holidays?
"The word of the day is legs...spread the word."
"do you work for UPS? because i can see you checking out my package."
"in any other circumstance, i would SO hit on you!"
"that outfit would look really good crumpled up on my bedroom floor."
Thats all for today folks.
"I have a vibrator at work. Who hates life today?"
This isnt my quote, but I thought it was funny... haha
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
"Intimate relationships cannot substitute for a life plan. But to have any meaning or viability at all, a life plan must include intimate relationships."
"Assumptions are the termites of relationships."
Im tired. Ill feel bad later, but I am going to skip class tonight anyways. I need a break. Plus Im hungry because all I had today was a soup. Im kind of changing my travel plans for the year. I want to go to Cuba. But I still want to go to Galapagos, or Costa Rica. I am so confused...
Monday, March 29, 2004
Thanks to the Chadster, my back window is now back up! I still need to get a new part but at least now I know it'll be ok. Yippee. Oh so here's a quick plug: If you need ANYTHING fixed, hes the man for the job. Just ask me and I'll get you in touch with himnow that he's doing his own thing.
So huccum Saturay it didnt warm up until like noon? I so wanted to go to the beach, got up early and everything, but its was oogly.
Friday night sucked though, but I wont talk about it. Its just stupid, stupid, stupid. I should just stop it, so thats what Im doing.
Chico was especially bad over the weekend, I dont know why. Maybe he just needs to get out more. I need to get him a choke collar first though...
Im hungry...
Friday, March 26, 2004
Yeah today sucks! I'll tell ya later why, but heres some humor in the mean time. These are responses to a forum "What would you do if you were God for a day?"
"Rock out, with my cock out"
"Shoot lightning bolts out my ass!"
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Ever get the feeling that something just isnt right? You wake up in the morning, take a shower, get ready and head off to work. You're driving and its still feels weird, something just isnt right. You get to work and what the heck, your neck itches, you go to scratch and damn it your shirts on backwards!
Yeah its one of those days. Its only 8:45 am, but I already know its going to be one of those days. I need a chai!
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
At least 3 of the groups I work with are going to be doing the Human Race this year and I have to pick one to sponsor. Only one! So which one do I do?
Well I think most of you know what I think about marriage, but I read this and thought it was funny so here ya go...
(A scene at City Hall in San Francisco)
"Next."
"Good morning. We want to apply for a marriage license."
"Names?"
"Tim and Jim Jones."
"Jones? Are you related? I see a resemblance."
"Yes, we're brothers."
"Brothers? You can't get married."
"Why not? Aren't you giving marriage licenses to same gender couples?"
"Yes, thousands. But we haven't had any siblings. That's incest!"
"Incest?"
No, we are not gay."
"Not gay? Then why do you want to get married?"
"For the financial benefits, of course. And we do love each other. Besides, we don't have any other prospects."
"But we're issuing marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples who've been denied equal protection under the law. If you are not gay, you can get married to a woman."
"Wait a minute. A gay man has the same right to marry a woman as I have. But just because I'm straight doesn't mean I want to marry a woman. I want to marry Jim."
"And I want to marry Tim, Are you going to discriminate against us just because we are not gay?"
"All right, all right. I'll give you your license. Next."
"Hi. We are here to get married."
"Names?"
"John Smith, Jane James, Robert Green, and June Johnson."
"Who wants to marry whom?"
"We all want to marry each other."
"But there are four of you!"
"That's right. You see, we're all bisexual. I love Jane and Robert, Jane loves me and June, June loves Robert and Jane, and Robert loves June and me. All of us getting married together is the only way that we can express our sexual preferences in a marital relationship."
"But we've only been granting licenses to gay and lesbian couples."
"So you're discriminating against bisexuals!"
"No, it's just that, well, the traditional idea of marriage is that it's just for couples."
"Since when are you standing on tradition?"
"Well, I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere."
"Who says? There's no logical reason to limit marriage to couples. The more the better. Besides, we demand our rights! The mayor says the constitution guarantees equal protection under the law. Give us a marriage license!"
"All right, all right. Next."
"Hello, I'd like a marriage license."
"In what names?"
"David Deets."
"And the other man?"
"That's all. I want to marry myself."
"Marry yourself? What do you mean?"
"Well, my psychiatrist says I have a dual personality, so I want to marry the two together. Maybe I can file a joint income-tax return."
"That does it! I quit!! You people are making a mockery of marriage!!"
If it doesnt rain or turn out really ooogly on Saturday I am going to Capitola! I havent been there in so long...I have to stop, have a drink at Margaritaville, a Mexican Chocolate ice cream cone at the shop, chill on the beach and buy some new lingerie at Yvonne's downtown! Im excited!
Last night was interesting. We met at the hospital where we'll be spending alot of our time with trauma survivors. It was a little intimidating, but its good to see and get to know those things we'll need to know. Like that the cafeteria closes now at 2 because of cutt backs, so you have to munch on crap vending food most of the time. Yeah so I guess I will have to remember to keep loose change around. We all thought it was strange that the doctor who gave a small lecture referred to the survivors as "her victim", or "my victim". The interview and exam rooms are soooo small. Its fortunate that they were able to get any space at all for the center, but its still very teeny. I think I will be very freaked out at the firs exam I have to be there for. I dont know if I can hide my shock at some peoples appearance when they've been traumatized and it is very obvious, even horrifying. I know because we've already seen pictures...I suppose at the time you're so worried and want to be if help that you just do not let it get to you.
I miss the kids at the shelter. I still think about everyone of them almost every night. I wonder if the little boy I taught simple interest to, still remembers? Or if they youngest one is still running around trying to bite people? At least when Id leave the shelter, I would be content even if tired and all. Now I just feel overwhelmed and helpless. They tell us that just being there is so helpful to survivors even when we dont do much. Having support does help and goes a long way, but I still feel useless. I dont see what I can do. At least with the kids, I can see the differences and I know I am helpful.
I dont really like the new book I am reading, but I wont put it down. Its Amazing Grace by Jonathan Pozol, and was recomended to me by someone. I just dont like the way they talk, but I cant explain it. You know the way you say things, really makes a difference in certain situations. Like instead of asking a kid "did you do that?" in a demanding way saying "what happened here?" Well thats how I think of this book. What they write about is true and we all know a lot of the things, but the way they go about it, I just dont like. Its constantly talking about how these kids have no hope of being successful and I hate that. Iy doesnt say that exactly, but thats what it gives me the impression of. Maybe Im just being overly sensitive or something, who knows.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Can you believe I went to the movie theatre Sunday?! T and I went and had a nice little day out. I dont even rememer the last time I did that, except when I was in LA, and that was mostly just running around. Oh yeah and I ate and drank a little too much, cause I had a stomach ache all night after. I think it was just because I havent been eating well, and so I piggeed out. But most of you would probably say thats normal.
Anyways, we saw Taking Lives, and smarty pants T said he figured it out right away, I didnt but I thought it was pretty good. Angeline Jolie is way cool. And so is Ethan Hawke.
Next Saturday is my first and probably last one off of class for a while. Capitola Baby!
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
AH-HA! I found you all out. Everyone I know is conspiring against me somehow. Even the people that I didnt know, knew the other people, are somehow all working together. Its the only way I can explain how they are all driving me crazy! You silly monkeys!
Monkey Butt: Somehow we just need to be in eachothers lives. I wont let you cross any boundaries, but I will let you get as close as possible. I cant forget you just yet and it drives me crazy.
Jen: Well I guess you're the only one who hasnt really driven me crazy, but YOU are crazy~ ! haha
A: I cant wait to get to know you. It isnt quite crazy yet, but it will get there, I promise, because it always does. You've been warned.
J: Please dont expect anything now. I dont even know what I want. Good Luck Dork.
Andy: Hey sweety. I did not mean to shoot you down, I am just not ready to get married yet, if ever. But hey spontaneous is nice sometimes, its just scary too. I can honestly say I think you're the most sincere man Ive ever known and I do love ya for that. Dont change ever.
Ziggy Man: You sure have a way of popping up outta nowhere, but as long as you're happy so am I. Missed ya little bro.
Nise: Talk about moody.
Monday, March 15, 2004
Had a first on Friday. You know who you are, I wont embarrass you by saying more, but it was good. If only monkey butt would stop confusing me, I would really get to appreciate it.
"We usually know what we can do, but temptation shows us who we are."
I had an incredible birthday, I am so lucky and I truly love my family and friends.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
I forgot to mention something in my last post in regards to my new training. I have met a bunchof people like me. Normal people that is, that want to do what I want to do. That like things I like. I meet people all the time that think what I do is cool, but none that want to join me. So this is way cool.
I've decided to put off bitching until next week. No more bitching the rest of this week, although I have a lot to bitch about. I've decided to continue this week in a positive manner no matter what! No matter how negative things may be, there has to be something positive, right?
I started my training this past Tuesday. Will continue every Tuesday and Thursday night, as well as all day every Saturday for the next 2 months. So far the first class was ok, just a quick summary really of what I have to look forward to. Met everyone else in the group and went over the details of what we want and what is expected. In two months I will be a state certified trauma counselor. Sounds exciting huh! Well I decided to do this to get some more experience and training to help me when I one day hopefully become a foster parent. I have learned a lot already.
When I interviewed they ask you a lot about yourself. When we go through this training they explain that a lot about yourself will come up, you may recall things and you will have to see and hear some really horrible things, it will affect you. They want to make sure you can handle it all and you have a way to deal with it. I wont and cant really write details, but I can get it out that way I suppose.
Did you know that rape is a crime against the state and the person raped is only a witness and they do not decide whether to press charges or not? I didnt know that until last night. One other interesting thing to share. The thing that affects people the most who have been traumatized is how they are treated afterwards. Say you were traumatized and you told a friend. Say that person questions you, or in any way gives you some uncertain response, that will stay with you more that the actual experience. Makes sense.
Well enough about that, it isnt too positive. On a lighter note, I also started salsa classes. I have been dying to do some salsa, it is so fun, but I can never find anyone to dance with, so I started a class, and it is so fun!
Going to LA this weekend!!!!! Its been a while.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Just me venting again, skip this post if you're sick of my bitching.
You spoiled another good day, why dont you just stay away like I asked. Of course you call me at work because I dont have caller ID, so I always pick up even though I asked you not to call me at work many, many times. Right when things are good, you have to ruin it. After getting annoyed at having to repeat myself over and over, you ask why I am being mean. I am not mean, I am annoyed by you, stay out of my life, I am so happy without you. Cant you see that?
You can pretend to be a nice guy all you want, but I know you. Thats why I dont want you. Well maybe you are nice, to hookers that is. I suppose they earn more of your respect than people like I do. Curiosity killed the cat you know. And we all know now that you dont care, so why pretend? Go away and stay ther, please.
Things will get better...things will get better.
Do you choose to see the best in people and give everyone a fair chance? Or do you choose to expect the worse. I think I am picky about which way I choose. I cant lie, I discriminate sometimes. I am swooned by the dorkiest things, but it can be blinding. However, if someone does something I dont like, forget it I wont like you much.
Well in this instance I was right, I think. I gave them a chance and they seem alright so far. Hey no ones perfect but decency is a good thing. Monkey and Monkey Butt, you guys didnt see this one coming did ya!
9 days and counting to "me" day! Who's taking me to Nobus?
"So this girl asked me what punk was. I kicked over a trash can and said, 'That's punk.' So she kicked over a trash can and said, 'This is punk?' and I said, 'No, that's just trendy.'"
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Okay, first I must apologize for the horrible postings the last few weeks. I know they were horrible, but it helped at the time, a lot has gone on that most of you know about. Its been hard and stressful, but the future can only get better..
I am still in the process of finding a place, a lot of things are still in the air, but I havent quite found the perfect place yet. Actually I havent even found anything decent. Ive had three places in the last month fall through, which was really a streak of bad luck, but I am determined to wait it out and hope for the best, its not as if I'd be out on the street, I do have a car, jk.
On a better note, Chico has been quite the king of the house now that its just the two of us. I think he is most satisfied without any competition, he gets all my attention. We've been taking a lot more walks, runs and trips to the parks, which is nice for me too. I need to get out more. Although I've neglected my duties at the shelter and elsewhere which I felt guilty about but, I think I really needed to spend some time on me. Figuring things out and just letting things sink in. I am happy with the way things are, maybe not perfect but I am satisfied with the choices Ive made. I have no guilt and I tried my best.
I am going to be 24 in a week and three days. I cant beleive it. I remember thinking when I was 16, where I would be now. Its nowhere where I am now, but if only Id known then what I know now. I think it will be a "me" birthday, one Ill look forward to. I think I will spend it alone, with my phone off on the beach somewhere in LA just being thankful that I can eitherway. What makes it a "me" birthday is that I dont have to worry about anything else, just me. Thats gonna be a first, as most of you know, I am not big on holidays or birthdays. This one I will be happy with myself, the things Ive done and where I am in my life, whether they dont measure up to some standards, they certainly dont keep me up at night because I do my best. To think 10 years ago I was barely starting high school...
Chico is afraid of the rain. Its hilarious. He has to pee, but hes afraid to go outside and he wont go in the house, poor guy.
Finished the new Dave Pelzer book, wasnt quite as good as the first ones, probably because it isnt as gruelling and horrible to tell. But still, it takes you into parts of his life left out of the first ones, and makes you understand even more.
I finally went to the bead shop and used the certificate I got for xmas, so Ive started up beading again. Ive learned a few new stitches and will have pictures of the new stuff up soon...taking special requests for a limited time...
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Can anyone guess which topic this story is about? Its a fairly prominent one in my area. I thought it was quite interesting...
There was a guy at the beach on a sunny day. The waves were large and the man wanted to go surfing. He had never been surfing before and today was going to be the big day. He approached a rental stand and began talking with the man behind the shanty.
Guy: Dude, I would like to rent the most radical surfboard.
Renter: Ok, here is my selection.
The guy peruses the boards lining the racks on the back wall.
Guy: Dude, do you have any that might fly?
Renter: Well, I suppose if you use this one you might be able to do some jumps if you are experienced.
Guy: No dude, I want one that flys in the air. Ya know, surf the clouds! Silver Surfer! Right on!
Renter: I'm sorry I think you have surfboards confused with something that doesn't exist.
Guy: Well that isn't fair! I want a surfboard that can fly!
Renter: I can't help you. By definition a surfboard is made to go on waves. Surf is, by definition, waves that break on the the shore. SURF BOARD.
A girl waiting in line breaks in to ask her question.
Girl: Hey, I want one that goes underwater!
Renter shakes his head.
Renter: These are surfboards. They are made for ontop of the water only. That is what they do. You can't just change what they do because your desires are otherwise. You can surf like everyone else or go somewhere else.
The renter is about to turn away when another man comes up and grabs his attention.
Man: Hey I want to rent 4 surfboards.
The renter lets a smile of relief turn on his lips.
Renter: Ok, that will be $100.
Man: Can you strap them all together? I want to use them all at once.
Renter: What in the hell is wrong with you people!? Surfboards have always been made for on top of the water and it wouldn't work to use more than one at a time!
Guy: Dude! You are discrimating against us because we think different against you!
Renter: No, I am not discriminating against you! I am offering you what I have and cannot do more.
Girl: Well I plan on changing the definition.
Renter: That doesn't make any sense. What you want is a SUBboard. And you want a AEROboard. And you want a POLYboard.
Guy: Dude, the polyboard is a stupid idea.
Girl: Yeah, it would never work! I think our ideas are good though!
Man: Why is my belief that using 4 surfboards at once a stupid idea and your ideas are so great?
Guy: Cuz, there are lots of people that want to have an flying surfboard or an underwater surfboard. Your idea is stupid. Our ideas are most righteous!
Man: Well if we're going to change the definition of a surfboard why can't I have a say in it too? This is not fair to me.
Guy: Dude! Maybe you have a point!
Just then another man appoached the rental counter.
New guy: Hey do you have any poodles I can surf on?
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
When something dies dont you usually grieve? I guess if you never gave a shit about it in the first place, then theres no need to grieve, but honesty would at least be nice. I guess even that is too much to ask for now. Well hooker lover, thanks for making it easier and easier everyday to move on.
I know now what I wont be missing: Lies I tell, you, phony balogne lies. Oh and I cant forget how much I will miss you not being dependable. I know now, that everything that comes from your mouth is really just talk. It could have been simple, but no you had to make things complicated. Now I really know you.
Now I realize things were worse than I thought, the lies were even more intense and more than I thought. I dont want to know you at all. I wont have to cater to your needs, while mine get stuck at the bottom of your list. I know now to expect the absolute worse from you. Too bad I had to find it all out on my own, over a long, strenuously draining experience.
It made me smile to hear you now spend your time with those you made fun of and talked about so much. Thanks for making me smile. You have become what you so said you disliked. At least I never gave up trying to be a better person trying to make you happy. I didnt loose everything...
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Another one of those weekends...I wont go into detail to be nice, but I really wanted to hurt someone Saturday. They made life that much harder to take that day and if it werent for the few friends I do have that kept me sane, I would have told someone some mighty choice words and more. Am I too old for that? Sometimes I dont think my age matters, and I should be able to speak my mind and act "stupid", because I dont feel satisfied otherwise, but I always chose to keep it in.
I said I wouldnt go into detail but I will vent still. Why, because I can and I want to. Remember my clause? I dont mean to hurt anyone, and you can read this and think what you will, but it doesnt always mean you know what I am talking about and so I suggest you not jump to conclusions, or assume I mean to hurt you in any way. I only write because it is my way of getting it out.
So...you never listened, you never considered, thought about, or even felt. Why? I think because you chose not to. When I was asked to work on things I did. Not everything, but a lot. You chose not to do anything. And because I chose not to do everything you chose to blame me, although I will point out you did nothing. And now...it looks so easy for you, it angers me. You still do not listen, consider or feel, but now I do not try so it shouldnt bother me. It still does sometimes though. After years and the ups and downs it has to. I am alone but it doesnt bother you. Although I dont need you, it would be nice to think you cared enough to make sure, but you wont and I already know this. Ive known all along, I tried explaining many times, but no you assurred me it was something to work on. I worked it out until you finally figured it out. You finally figured out that I was right. Now that hurts.
After all of that, I am still bombarded with anger. I was left with not much, and yet you want to take more. The "things" we had, you only want the good ones, the old worn and useless ones, you assure me I can have. You tell me this as if you are being nice. But actaully you can "afford" muchmore than me. On your way out, you leave a wreck for me to clean up. You're love I am expected to take care of until someone else comes to claim responsibility, to love. Dont bother to ask though, I guess it is assumed I will just know I must do that.
It comes in flights. You come with a sweep of your sword, taking what you can and leaving me with anger. But thats not enough, you cant leave a clean wound, but you continue to pick the scab over and over until its easy for you to forget about. Everytime you pick the anger grows again.
Oh one more thing, its funny how you like to twist things around. I am no liar, but we both know who is. I should have known then we were doomed. When someone swears on their mother only to take it back when they've been found out, is quite wrong.
Okay I am done for now. I am still a little angry but not as much. I feel stupid flying off the handle, but that always leads to horrible things, and really what will it accomplish?
Yesterday I decided not to work since I had such a rough weekend. I took Chico to the park and we romped in the mud, it was carefree fun. Had a depressing bout looking a place. After talking to a man over the phone about a studio for rent he assurred me that it was spacious. I got there with Chico in tow, and the whole place (kitchen, bathroom and room) were smaller thanmy living room, which is pretty small, and it didnt have a stove! I wasnt thinking it was worth the $900 he wanted for it. Very depressing. I have less than 2 more weeks to go...
Bought the new Dave Pelzer book, and its good so far. Im signing up for flag football, and I am going to be the shrimp of the team of course. I know I am going to be tempted to tackle someone, I've never played anything besides tackle. Should be fun.
Friday, February 13, 2004
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Friday, February 06, 2004
¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º
your into japanese fast food
and i drop you off with your japanese lover
and you're going to the beach all day
you're so pretty when you're unfaithful to me
you're so pretty when you're unfaithful to me
you're looking like
you've got some sun
your blistered lips
have got a kiss
the days are lit like everyone
uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh
your bones got a little machine
you're the bone machine
i was talking to preachy-preach about kissy-kiss
he bought me a soda
he bought me a soda
he bought me a soda and he tried to molest me in the parking lot
yep, yep yep YEP!
i make you break
you make me hard
your irish skin
looks Mexican
our love is rice and beans and horses lard
your bones got a little machine
you're the bone machine
uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh
uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh
¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°
After having a horrible day, its was the kids that actually helped me to wind down yesterday. Maybe they could tell I was already at my last end, or maybe they had just as rough of a day, but for some reason things went way smooth and I felt better going home.
Everynight driving home from the shelter I think about what happened and the things I may have accomplished and the things I should try to next time. Last night I taught a little boy how to calculate simple interest. Next time well see if he remembers. Last night we taught one of the little ones Go Fish, he loved it. Next week we are making journals, even I am excited about it.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Okay, so I am having a horrible day. One of the most horrific I've had in a very long time. Emotionally, physically and everything, its just messed up. But you know what? I just smiled. I just remembered something that happened yesterday and it almost makes me laugh.
Two people made yesterday a bad day too. These two people I've not seen in years. They may read this, and it doesnt matter to me, well it actually makes me smile even more, but oh well.
These two people I always had issues with, or rather they had with me. What issues exactly I dont really know, but a lot of stupid stuff that I know, or remember. Anyways I thought that years ago we had worked things out, we are civil and whatever, life went on. One of these people actually still emails me for favors or to make remarks about stuff, which is cool, cause all that BS is in the past right.
Well I guess they still have something out for me. I didnt find this out until the last minute, but they decided to change they're mind on a deal we had with another person. They've known for about a good month at least, but just yesterday decided they had changed their mind. They just realized that they still have "issues" with me. Okay...
So I started to think, geeh what did I do now? Its been years...then I remembered a joke I sent out a few months ago. It was about this married couple, some stupid joke about how marriage is. These two just got married last year and I guess she got offended. I got a response from her something like "Well I am happily married thank you!" and I was like whatever. I think back and maybe I was a little stubborn then and I didnt quite give them the benefit of the doubt and I thought, well I sure have grown since then. And then I smiled because I realized that they hadnt.
